The Wait

Can be a very frustrating process.

As much as I know that

little man can and should stay till at least 38 weeks,

the time when there's not much you can do,

is torturing.

There is only so much one can sleep and rest.

The rest of the time is spent 

dwelling and worrying about issues post-pregnancy.

Little things start to have the ability arouse your emotions.

Broke my hairclip this afternoon due to my carelessness,

and I could literally feel depression sink in.

It is my only hairclip,

to clip up my head of hair 

amidst of this humid and warm weather.

Now I have to buy a new one.

The thought of needing to go out and buy things,

makes me depress.

As much as I love to go out shopping at this point in time,

I feel tired just thinking about "purposeful" shopping.

These are very contradictary and complex thoughts and emotions.

I feel like a emotional freak

just thinking about my own thoughts and emotions these days.

Lucky for me,

hubby has been really understanding and accomodating;

I don't know how I can come so far if not for him.

The thought of what it is going to be like when little man comes out,

also keeps me slightly emotional.

On one hand, 

I feel I can handle it.

I am normally quite good with babies,

and I feel I have the patience to slowly get all of us settled comfortably.

On the other hand,

I am worried that I might dip into depression post-natal,

since now my emotions are sometimes abit haywire,

and I cannot control my tears and thoughts.

A good friend, E told me to rest and relax during this period,

and not think too much.

She herself has just given birth this March,

and her baby has not been the easiest to take care of.

But she took it in her stride,

and now everything is slowly settling down.

I see her as a good example,

someone to look up to whenever I think too much.

Eventually we will get there.

Right, little man?

Even though Daddy and Mommy are inexperienced,

the three of us will try and learn to accomodate each other,

until we are all comfortably settled down into a routine.

Popo will also help us along the way.

As much as there are endless anxiety,

Daddy and Mommy look forward to give you big hugs and kisses,

and all the love we have.

We love you, little man.