十

自言

有时

我看不见未来

是什么样子

沮丧

但沮丧没有用

所以我必须记得

以前我也不曾预见

现在会这个样子

我很怀念

以前美好的

完整无缺的

盈眶

但盈眶没有用

所以我只能继续

努力着寻找着

不放弃这个残缺

Disappointments

What good is a relationship

if it cannot be based on trust?

Any relationship at all.

I feel really very tired and sick.

My stomach is churning again.

Maybe I will throw up again tonight.

Reflections

I mustn't be selfish.

Verdict

I cannot say I was disappointed,

I was not expecting anything really.

At most,

I was merely planning what needs to be done,

if THAT really falls upon me.

I gave CS a long hug,

whil he read on.

Perhaps it is for the best.

To have THAT happening for the next 2 years,

and then perhaps marriage and children all at the same time,

is something that takes a lot to handle,

for the both of us.

I will still continue to path a way.

Whatever the outcome,

it will be for the better,

whether known or unknown to me.

To us.

Long weekend

Thank you for spending your free days,

running around with me,

doing my errands and fulfilling my responsibilities.

It meant a lot,

that you are always there.

And I promise to be good,

no more tantrums and unreasonable requests.

But you must promise,

never to play vanish again.