Note to Self

• Don't over-worry unnecessarily. 

Worrying does not help in the situation. It only exaggerates the worst that can happen and makes me feel like shit.

• Breathe in, breathe out.

I really need more of this especially after being a mother. Situation changes in split seconds. As I type, my son could be fighting against some nameless gastronitis virus and started a sudden mild fever. *touch-wood*! My heart almost stop so many times through this one year.

• Let go

I need to believe that other than me, someone else can take good care of him as well. I need to trust the alternative care-giver. I need to trust that my son is more adaptable and stronger than I choose to believe.

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I never see myself as carefree till I become a Mother. I was carefree. But I choose to worry. 

Now a Mother, I see the real worries. Worries that are not just about yourself, but another human being, whose life is dependant on your every decision, right or wrong. 

I feel so tired right. Yet, it has become clearer and clearer that it's not my baby who can't live without me, but I him.

I love my baby.

God bless my baby.