Dear God

As much as the future cannot be seen with much clarity,

I am not about to dwell and despair.

That better future I dream and pray of,

I will work and fight hard for.

I know CS will as well.

It's not another beginning,

neither the end;

but simply part of my journey.

Whatever happens next,

I will understand that it meant to be part of my journey.

May I have the strength, faith and positivity,

to go through it and emerge as a stronger, better and happier person.

May I go the distance like the flowing river.

Flowing through

Be like the flowing river,

Silent in the night.

Be not afraid of the dark.

If there are stars in the sky,

reflect them back.

If there are clouds in the sky,

Remember,clouds,like the river,are water.

So,gladly reflect them too,

In your own tranquil depths.

~~ Manuel Bandeira ~~

驿站

2010年6月5日，

前往叫东京的城市。

出发前一晚睡得很不好，

然而隔天仍带着愉快的心情。

越来越不给旅行，

盖上许多沉重的寻觅意义，

旅行未必能真正让人寻找到失去。

然而我仍热爱到处走走，

那是一种无法形容的感动。

当你从毫无概念到一个完整的旅程，

然后从中发现了许多美丽意外，

在现有的计划中改变再改变，

在意见不合时商量再商量，

然后越来越顺利，

越来越契合。

东京之旅，

不完美但很动人，

仿佛为心灵洗涤了一番。

因为令人感动的人，

才能谱出美丽的旅程。

毅

We can't change it. We just have to decide how we'll respond.

---- Randy Pausch "The Last Lecture" ----

那就不要无止尽地害怕

所有可能会发生的坏事

因为它未必会发生

倘若真的发生了

我要学习平静毋躁去处理

让伤害减到最低

我要好好照顾自己

我不允许残缺

破坏了活着的乐趣

十

自言

有时

我看不见未来

是什么样子

沮丧

但沮丧没有用

所以我必须记得

以前我也不曾预见

现在会这个样子

我很怀念

以前美好的

完整无缺的

盈眶

但盈眶没有用

所以我只能继续

努力着寻找着

不放弃这个残缺

Disappointments

What good is a relationship

if it cannot be based on trust?

Any relationship at all.

I feel really very tired and sick.

My stomach is churning again.

Maybe I will throw up again tonight.

Reflections

I mustn't be selfish.

Verdict

I cannot say I was disappointed,

I was not expecting anything really.

At most,

I was merely planning what needs to be done,

if THAT really falls upon me.

I gave CS a long hug,

whil he read on.

Perhaps it is for the best.

To have THAT happening for the next 2 years,

and then perhaps marriage and children all at the same time,

is something that takes a lot to handle,

for the both of us.

I will still continue to path a way.

Whatever the outcome,

it will be for the better,

whether known or unknown to me.

To us.

Long weekend

Thank you for spending your free days,

running around with me,

doing my errands and fulfilling my responsibilities.

It meant a lot,

that you are always there.

And I promise to be good,

no more tantrums and unreasonable requests.

But you must promise,

never to play vanish again.