身体

这几天睡得不好。

不是做奇怪的梦，

就是半夜醒来咳个不停。

自星期三开始，

肚子又不知发生什么事，

时不时一阵阵疼痛。

尽管需要工作，

我仍感激现在是假期。

至少让我好好休息，

慢慢理好身体。

ps: 除非病得很严重，我真的不想再看医生了。

Tint of bliss

幸福，

是一大清早有McCafe 早餐吃。

然后期盼着傍晚，

久违的泳池。

现在只但愿，

咳嗽能停止。

In search

There's a strong sense of loss.

Perhaps,
it's the mourn for Self.

Is it me,
or has this place
became too crowded for thee.

Suffocation,
took away the air,
and clouded the vision.

There's a need to get away,
and to look for oneself.

The very things one loves and enjoys,
those that used to intrigue, and still will.

The feeling of being,
happy and free.

休息

今早醒来，

有一股清晰。

很多事，我不急。

我想从容散步，

待未来呈现最终结局。

让我慢慢品尝之间事迹，

从中学习。

To see a world in a grain of sand,

And a heaven in a wild flower,

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

And eternity in an hour.

~~~ William Blake "Auguries of Innocence"

Be well

昨晚咳了一整夜，

身体不断冒出冷汗，

仿佛整个肺都快咳出来。

实在无法入眠，

我难过地坐在床上发呆。

原来很多痛苦，

是必须自己去经历承受的。

尽管爱你的人，

很想为你分担些什么。

我要快点好起来。

我要好好照顾这个身体。

只有照顾好身体，

其他的事，我才有能力。

Mossies

After that fateful night in my room,
the mossies decided that they
simply can't get enough of me.

And so last night,
they went on to have another party,
at the very place I lie at their mercy.

It must be a ladies' night,
since only female mossies bite.

And I woke up in the middle of it,
full of lovely red kisses left on me,
and coughing so hard, I barely can breathe.

As they say,
if you can't beat them, join them.

So up I went to on the lights,
only to find my sister, myself and I.

Darn mossies,
they are definitely getting better at this.

I remembered in my younger days,
I could easily wait, find and eliminate some,
to make myself feel useful.

And I wonder if they are also preparing,
for some sort of a mossies' Olympics.

For this morning I find,
the very area they bite coincide,
exactly with their previous likes.

So now, I've got bigger bumps,
at the same places where I have to keep numb.

Enough

which part of Enough do you not understand?

Having one problem after another,

when the previous ones were barely resolved,

is NOT FUNNY.

Give us something to celebrate.

久违

昨晚梦见自己开着车，

载着 J 和 M 去游车河。

J 笑我不会认路，M 笑我不会开车。

最后 J 叫我送他们去 yck 地铁站，

他怕我迷路回不了家。

M 走之前说，

下次由他来载我。

Go away

It felt like some sort of a grand finale.

Finally,

all symptoms of a bad cold and sorethroat,

came out.

Menses came as well.

It's been a long time,

since I felt so weak and vulnerable.

Waking up,

I dont even have the energy to move my limbs,

let alone get up.

It's a bad time to be sick and in bed.

I need to get well soon.

I have so much fun to be done.

I need to get well real soon.

I want to go out and play.

失察

你怕

你发现

你没有办法照顾她

Silence

For I have lost my voice as well...

Please be with me,

as I tread through this episode.

Perspective

Keep your head up.

Don't look down.

For there are so much more,

beyond those bad karma,

you can focus on.

It will pass.

To be, and not to be.

It has been a trying 2 weeks,
with 3 subsequent doctors' visits.

One for the mosquitoes' bites,
that drove the skin into a frenzy.

Later on Sunday,
scalded the right arm with boiling soup,
while in a hurry to serve the delicious broth.

Was tearing so much,
while trying to calm down the red skin,
I thought I was at my brim.

Early this week,
Monday to be specific,
the left foot was swollen from some insect bites.

Filled with pus in the form of bubbles,
I could barely walk without pain.

Somehow the consecutive events,
affected me emotionally.

It was not just these,
but everything else as well.

Everything was going so fast,
everybody wants a piece of my time.

So what does that leave me?

I felt drained,
like some sort of recycled energy,
used, and reused, endlessly.

So again,
what does that leave me?

Doctor gave me a day to rest,
I woke up in the morning mildly refreshed.

It dawned upon me,
that I badly needed a break.

From the work frenzy,
that never stops adding on to me;
from the pace, this place, and
what this city expects of me.

I feel sick,
yet I have no time to be sick.

C told me
her suspected condition late last week.

They worked us too hard,
she whispered.

She didn't have time,
to collect the doctor's report.

It makes me wonder,
what is going on?

Don't we have to first take good care of our lives,
before we can take care of everything else.

We are taking it all wrong.

They are thinking it all wrong.

For if money can buy everything else,
money cannot buy a time,
to stop and take care of ourselves.

The time to sleep well,
to see the doctor and get well.

The time to be calm and patient,
to take a deep breath,
to control that nasty little temper.

The time to be a little kinder,
to those around us.

The time,
to love and be loved.

I needed all that time,
to learn to be a better person.

For that disgruntled grumpy lady,
that is growing in me.

Such a time

I woke up

hoping everything will come to an end.

A good end.

Hang in there, self.

It will be over sooner than you imagine.

误人子弟

老师，handphone 华文怎么写？

是不是 like hand-chicken？

当然不是。

手机，是这样写的。

可是我们在 bus 上面，

看到一个 handphone advertisement。

上面写 手鸡。

医生说

You have sensitive skin.

You are allergic to mosquitoes' bites.

They spark off mild eczema.

顿时觉得，

他好想在说，

抱歉，你对 空气 敏感。

To kill the mockingbird itch

最近不知为何，

蚊见蚊爱。

今早起来，

身体各处又出现一堆蚊迹。

又大又红又肿，

最可恶的是，痒得不得了。

I need to rid this itch!

于是上网看了一下资料，

得出以下结论。

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home Remedies to Relieve Mosquito Bites:

1. Calamine Lotion

2. Run hot water through fresh bites, to release histamine (chemical that causes itch)

3. Toothpaste

4. Tea tree oil

5. Lavendar oil

~~~~~~~~~~~~

最重要的是，

dont ever scratch.

刚才在房里，

喷了大半瓶杀蚊剂。

今晚用热水洗澡，

将身上蚊迹分为四区，

涂上以上四种不同的“药剂”。

呵呵...

有没有效，

过几天再告诉你。:)

ps：若你还有什么良方，一定要告诉我！

I've learnt

only Communication will

fill up the cracks

and take away the decay

Love

should not be

as such

never

do I want to be

as such

for every

drop of it should be

nourishing and bliss

for every

inch of me should be

thoughtful to give

if it had ever

unknowingly

consumed and suffocated

may space

fill the cracks and

bring out the decay

莫要

夜半惊醒。

一股寒心的恐惧，

久久没有散去。

这时收到 K 的简讯。

告诉他，

那被一群似孟加拉人的色徒，

穷追包围的可怕梦境。

他说可能是预言，

告诉我即将涌来，

一群皮肤黝黑的追求者。

不好笑。

不知道为什么，

最近做的梦都莫名其妙。

勿忘我

亲爱的，

终于，又到周末。

想法

下面的，是题外话。

没什么，

只是忽然想这么说。

不论如何，

it's a beautiful day today :)

Enjoy the bliss.

定格我

请不要
以世俗的眼光
为我加上身份的枷锁

我不是你以为的身份
我是我

我所会做的
不论我处不处于那个身份
仍会那么去想、那么去做

不会做的
即使全世界都认同
我仍不会做

尽管很多时候
因为爱，因为在乎
而决定舍去自我

所以不论在你生活里
我扮演着什么角色

你不需要去接受
但希望你尝试尊重

这样一个
任性、不完美的我