Empty vessels

It's definitely Mind over Matter for me.

I don't Mind,

for whatever shit you created

do not Matter.

Sometimes I wish I have this switch to shut you up.

Ponder

Is it right

to continue stay

in that very place

where so many things irk

you to your core

making you want

to swear off and kick-ass?

明白

CS 被派出国公干，

整个周末都不在新加坡。

离开后一整天，

一直都没收到他任何消息，

发了几则简讯也没有任何回应。

原以为他应该在忙，

所以没有打电话打扰；

可是到了很晚都还是没有他的消息，

我开始心急。

打给他的手机，

发现手机是关上的。

这时我真的慌了，

我已完全无法联络上他。

脑子里充满着混乱的思绪，

到底该怎么办，究竟发生了什么事？

不久电话响了，

是 CS。

他还在工作，

还没有回酒店。

原来 CS 手机不知为何，

一直收不到我发送出的简讯；

也不知为何我一直没法打进。

我话还没说出口，

就哭成了一团，久久无法恢复。

这件事，

让我深刻明白了一些事。

若有人再问我，

why him?

Because I realised,

I can no longer live without him.

每一年的今天

永远一起...

继续

从前有个小孩

为了寻找更美好的旅途

他试图探入沿途看似更加美好的分歧路

小心翼翼地勇敢着

就算得与毒蛇猛兽大战一番

弄得自己遍体鳞伤

就算最后发现必须往回走

枉费一番精神和精力后

他从不沮丧

或放弃美好的寻觅

因为他知道

这些路不算白走

因为他相信

而且会更加努力

迈向理想的向往

我深爱着如这小孩一般的

就犹如他深爱着心爱的人

为了她乐观勇敢前进

Changing for the better

I am a rather careful eater.

I always try to think through
what I am putting into my mouth
before I act upon it.

However sometimes when the mind gets so tired,
it is not in the right stage to think about such things,
especially when the stomach is simply yearning for food.

Hence I ended up eating instant and processed foods,
mostly at the end of the day.

Recently I have been rather inspired
by CS who always tries to make salads for work,
some colleagues who have really sumptous home-made salads for lunch,
and The Book: The Amazing Adventures of the Diet Girl.

You know, I love salads. :)

I simply love the taste and smell of fresh vegetables,
best with cheese and ham.

But I reckon that making salads at night or in the morning
are not quite possible given the weariness at those time of the day.

So today I changed my diet a little,
having salad for dinner. :)

So far everything was great,
except for that cheap smokey ham my Mom bought.
The after-taste was quite unbearable for me.
Nevertheless, it was a good start.

Tomorrow onwards,
I shall move on to another chapter
of my gastronomy journey.

My usual wholemeal bread for breakfast,
a full lunch with minimial carbohydrates,
salad for dinner, with plenty of fruits in-between.

I am so looking forward to sticking to it,
and shopping for my salad input with CS every weekend.

Kudos to good health and a happy mind!

Health Log [8 July 2010]

Have not been updating for awhile,
a lot has happened, while plenty still have not.

In my last post regarding my health,
I think I vaguely mentioned that I have been seeking
the help of Traditional Chinese Medical Practice
at 中华医院, Chung Hwa Medical Institution.

That was in April, I think,
after that traumatic gastroscope found nothing.

Now 4 months has passed by,
I am still going to the clinic for my weekly dosage of TCM,
and I felt so much better.

All TCM doctors at the clinic asked me
if I was under tremendous stress,
and I wonder what stress are they talking about.

The stress was a few years ago,
yes, damn stressful.

But now, it's just weariness.

Went for my throat review at the voice clinic on Tuesday,
Doc did another scope down the throat,
and commented the swelling has gone down,
though still a little red and sore.

I told them I went TCM
after that fateful day they decided to let me go
without telling what's going on, and no medication given.

They looked grim,
as if I have gone to the dark side.

Nevertheless,
they gave me another appointment in December,
just to make sure everything is really going well.

I am so grateful for TCM,
despite the fact that all doctors look like
the aunties and uncles you find in the wet market.

I feel so supported during this trying period,
and seeing them every week makes me feel that
I am not alone in this battle against my body ailment.

Met up with Xuan some time after I came back from Japan,
she was seeing TCM too, to build up general health.

We both agreed that we are really getting old.

Yes, OLD.

As I am typing away,
my kneecap and other joints of my body
take turns to act up.

For the past few days,
I have been taking the supplements "Glucosamine"
I bought for my Mom.

Mind you, I have not had a baby yet.

I really need to take good care,
so that life wouldn't be so tough when I get pregnant.

CS has been going lengths for a healthier body as well.

He has been making salads lunchbox for lunch,
and running every day.

He says he wants to be strong strong for me. ^_^

I want to be strong strong as well.

Thank God for all the things that go well.

We will work harder for all the things that did not.

Nuisance

We were strolling in the bus interchange towards the queue,

when we saw this couple standing at the side of a pillar.

"What do you want me to do?

If you want, my mother can give us her room."

The man was heard saying.

Another couple frustrated about accomodation,

I told CS.

This morning came the news that,

our Finance Minister wants to shape Singapore,

into one of the most liveable cities in the world.

I am amused.

If so many couples who are intending to get married,

aren't able to find an affordable and immediate place to live in,

how liveable is Singapore exactly?

It makes me angry,

when politicians, ministries and people up there in general,

make statements without really getting to know the truth out there.

So many examples of such nowadays,

I wonder who are really for the citizens at all.