Thursday, May 14, 2009

Health Log [14 May 09]

So what I experienced for the past few days,
is known as,


It took several checkups & a chest X-ray,
for the younger doctor to tell me,
he could not find anything wrong with me.

But a mere teary description of my experiences,
for another to determine what I'm suffering from.

It taught me that in the medical field,
experience counts.

It is frightening not being able breathe.

I did not know how frightened I really am,
until I started to re-tell the entire episode to Dr Hui.

I broke down and shivered tremendously.

I told him I was really afraid,
that at some point in time, I stop breathing entirely.

And the after-effects of these attacks,
weaken my body so much,
certain activities I took for granted to be able to do,
I no longer can do it without being breathless.

Something that can affect my body so strongly,
must be something very wrong.

Dr Hui says,
the muscles around my chest are very tense,
causing reactions from the respiratory system,
and my reactions towards it worsen the condition.

I must stay calm and relax,
and try not to deliberately take in deep breaths.

I think the incidents made me somehow paranoid.

Every now and then,
I would check my breathing,
then I start to feel the anxiety,
whether it is too deep, too fast or too slow.

I must let go of this.

I must take caution,
but not be too worried or paranoid.

And I want to grow mentally & physically stronger,
as I slowly better understand,
how to deal with it.


6 comments:

阿顺 said...

Take care~

徐某人gundammc said...

Ms. Beauty, take care... Seem your condition is quite serious. maybe you really need to take a long good rest. Your contract is coming to an end, take it into consideration bah. Life is always more important than work. Ms. beauty, Hope to see you always beautiful and happy. All the best, take care....

Super Saiyan 3 said...

Glad you are getting better. Hang on!

harriet aka 晴 said...

take good care...

蓝月 said...

thanks :) i am feeling better, and definitely going to be stronger... i dont want to keep feeling like a sick old weakling.


Mr Devil, ya... bond coming to an end... what you thinking of doing next? Get married? ;)

徐某人gundammc said...

Ms. Beauty, I will still stay here to teach for few more years. Once i have enough money, i will definitely go back to my sec to continue my teaching. How about you? Will you still stay in the school?

Marriage ah. Still saving money.. Hope can have the wedding next year. You sure must come oh, ok? maybe you first bah. haha.. Take care oh.