Went to see Dr Hui again.
Not flu, not fever,
just the itch in my throat,
that has been around for a month.
This time it became so painful to touch,
I decided that I shouldn't procrastinate,
despite really not wanting to see doctor again.
I can't tell you how much I've tried,
to not see Doc and settle this "problem" myself.
I spent so much money on this 止咳汤 and 千层纸,
and my condition just fluctuates and fluctuates.
On good days I can talk and laugh as usual,
even though at the end on it,
the condition will worsen.
And so I went.
Dr Hui checked my breathing and throat,
and he seemed unsure.
I think he couldn't find or see (he was peering down my throat),
anything wrong with me.
I try to remind him that my throat hurts,
and he did some checking here and there.
Then he told me that for my profession,
I tend to get throat infection more easily.
He said he will give me some medicine (
Xepasone) to control the irritation,
and if doesn't gets well when the medication is finished,
I should see him again for a referral to a specialist for
scope.
He said I can continue to take
Tussil 5 to control my cough,
though I have repeatedly told him,
I have been taking
Tussil 5 for a MONTH already. :(
Then he asked if I have anymore questions.
So I told him that I felt better after taking the nasal spray,
having no more sudden "flu" out of nowhere.
And I told him that I still get occasional attacks,
the feeling of not able to breath proper,
and heart palpitation,
though not very frequent.
I told him I observed such attacks,
to be often very near or within the period of my
menstruation.
Then he seemed lost,
and kept flipping and flipping through my medical log.
And then I have to remind him again,
of what i told him about 2 months ago,
regarding National Heart Centre and that doctor,
who couldn't find anything wrong with me,
and then prescribed me Acid Reflux medication,
which did not make me any better.
I told him I was confused as to whether,
do I still go and see the doctor?
do I still take the medication?
(Though I think I do have mild acid reflux)
I told him that I am worried about this condition,
that comes and goes without any signs,
and I hope to find out the cause.
And then I told him that I am worried,
that when I am pregnant,
my current condition will affect my child.
(Well, just too many of the people around me are pregnant.)
Maybe I asked too many questions.
Maybe he is not feeling well as well.
From the confusion on his face earlier,
it changed to weariness.
From then,
he just kept telling me not to worry,
not answering to any of my questions.
I came out of the room,
feeling
dissatisfied.
However, I do not blame him.
On my way home I kept thinking,
he is just like me,
earning a living.
Just like me,
he has to pretend to be well,
and has the ability to solve everyone's problem,
when the truth may be that he himself,
is as helpless and needed that good long break.
Frankly,
I think I look more genki than him.
Nevertheless,
this throat issue gives me a good push,
to execute plans that have been on the mind,
for quite some time.
I need a change in direction,
and plenty of prayers.
